sO...
I am LOnely! Most of my friends are 1. married, 2. single, but happy, 3.either too young, or too old to really care about companionship/marriage/family(???)
I have been praying for years it seems like- yes, I know I'm only 28- but still- I have been praying. I used to always ask God for a husband. Then I started praying for one. This week He told me to ask Him how to be a godly wife. So I did.
One thing He showed me about being a godly wife is that men reqire a lot of love and attention. They don't want a woman that talks to guys everywhere- like some girls do- like... I...... ...do. I always justif(ied?) my outwardness and friendlyness by my family/homelife. But- whatever. I was raised by my Dad, brother and grandparents- my grandpa of which isn't direct blood relation to me- maybe it matters, sometimes it doesn't. (b/c growing up with a strange male around -not that he's "strange" just-not-blood-related- might have some sort of impact on a young growing adolescent's psychology......MAYBE). Then to add onto these things I was exposed to a lot of contact to people all around, but let's be honest, what is going to be "more important" "more desired" by a young girl- female attention or male attention???
So... I guess I have a problem.

I want to change me but I can't. Thank God I know Who CAN! JESUS!!!
(help me!!)
submission vs. rebellion
love (patience, kindness, gentleness, meekness, truth, hope, faith...) vs. hate (strife, envy, lust, anger, sloth, greed...)
hope vs. despair
trust vs. doubt
May God overcome Me.
amen.(so be it)

I've been practicing releasing my faith unto the L-RD and letting Him have HIS Way in me (my life). It really works! I think I'm just a bit overwhelmed right now due to family related (sickness) issues, a car that needs repair- Mother's Day (my momma lives far from me)... just to name a few.
Well.... I surrender to My Lord. ~~~~~~~~~~~~selah