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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Mysteries of Love

What is Love?
How do you know if someone really loves you... or if you really and truly love someone?
What about all this.... instead of blaming the other person, see the fault or problem (and ultimately solution) in yourself...
How do you trust God when you don't know exactly what He will do?
It comes down to trusting His judgement.
Even when what happens doesn't always make sense to mortal minds.
But sometimes, if you think about it hard enough, it can make sense.
For example, I have a friend who spent a very long time incarcerated, and this person's parents obviously had bad feelings about it, when I talked to them about the incarceration.
But i mentioned, that maybe, just maybe, being imprisoned spared that person from other worse things.. Who knows, maybe it saved their life.
I learn more about myself everything I go through.
I realized that - i get really caught up in things-ideals, or "dreams" I guess. I have found myself believe things that weren't necessarily "real" in the situation.
Meaning, I have been in relationships that I thought were more than what they really were.
I have learned, too, that I can even have conversations with people, thinking that they fully understand me and are in he same mental perception as me, but then learned they were not.
Or maybe it was me that wasn't understanding them, or perceiving the same as they were.
these things make life hard for me, sometimes.
Because if I had it my way, I would always get what I really want, I would always be truly happy, contented and satisfied.
I think my biggest issue, is wanting "things" --not being happy or satisfied just to have my life, and freedom, and Salvation in Hand.
People will let you down, material things will grow old and become nothing...
I keep asking God to let me be how I used to be... before I was hurt by man. I was innocent, and I loved people without fear and with out judging them and without hatred.
I want to be that person again...
I don't want to be hurt or scared or angry or mean anymore.
I just want : LOVE.