I guess it's foolish and self righteous of me to feel how I feel about my situation right now.
I am a woman redeemed by God. Before I "met" Jesus and asked him to wash away my sins, I was very much laden with sin, and evil and the filth of the world.
Even after I repented and was clean, I had a few personal relationship based strongholds that lead me away from the Cross.
I never really wanted to be "away" for God, and he always accepted me and loved me still when I came humbly and ashamedly back to him.

Now I am in a situation where I am forced to be put in my own place, so to say.
I am on the other side of the plate. I am not God, but I feel like I am in the place of knowing the Lord and trying to or wanting to live Right, and being opposed to my face by a significant other.
Even in the name of Jesus.

It frustrates me
It angers me
I want to go and leave
I'm torn because I believe God has told me to wait and stay and watch to see what He will do, but my disappointment and anger just grows, as I hope day in and day out, only to get let down again.
It has caused me to question my faith. It has caused me to question myself,... "was I wrong in what I believed of you LORD?"

It has made me so angry inside, that I almost would rather just walk away than try to wait it out and see if God will do a good thing ( that He said - I believe- He would do. )


I don't know how to get over this.
I just don't know what to do.